On Single-Parenting


“Why didn’t you wake me up early?” is a regular rouser for your nerves- much stronger than the instant black coffee you sip at 6 in the morning. That awkward grumble comes from the croak of your 14-year old son as he rushes downstairs only to pause for 15 minutes more or so before munching on his oatmeal breakfast. Before he is seated, his 11-year old brother Miguel has already docked on the four-seater round table. Always the first bird- half-pecking, half-dozing still as the two both dally blowing and stirring their choco-oatmeals to get tepid.

A typical start of your weekday, you continually remind them, “Hey! Keep moving, its already 6:30…then 6:45…” Woo! Papa, you’re lying, its still 6:20”, your loquacious and lately seemingly boorish youngest would always rebut. Sean gets ready for the bathroom –he’s the first on the list and always the longest to use it, while his brother would sneak back into one of the empty rooms to sleep again.

Bang! You hear Sean pound on the door- a cue for his brother to keep moving. He’s never lenient to such nature but he himself does everything in his own time. As you punch in the last key on your laptop before printing your day’s Biology class quiz, you peek into your wallet hoping that you could spare the two boys’ allowances. You remember seeing a five hundred bill yesterday in the evening. “We paid the laundry,” Sean voices out as he throws his fresh socks near the front door, signaling that he’s ready to go. “The beer, don’t you forget! I bought you beer last night”, Miguel would add and you are suddenly pounced by a cure for your morning’s amnesia. When the youngest leaves the door you remind him again to make good in school and perform the class activities. Without turning his back he gives off a weak “Yes”-wishing that this time it would be for real.

The first work you carry out for the day is just a 5-minute walk from your house. Your early class usually starts 5 minutes late as usual. Waiting for the students, you decide to browse your mails and even check last week’s quizzes. Thinking of ways to motivate your students has always been a challenge, you have exhausted a handful of good ones you learned from your graduate school till you realize it would still be best to be situationally pragmatic.

“Good morning, Sir!” is the welcoming sound you hear from a posse of late-comers. You start hoping they will have the zest to push that sloppy start till noon. From class to class, subject to another subject you metamorphose from being a patient facilitator to an eager “teacher” when nobody in your Biology class understands the function of the cell. The bell rings for noon. You are reminded of the gustatory urge to have beef soup for lunch only to end up with the usual vegetable. The place is teeming with business people as usual, the cooling unit destroyed. While lining up you remember the activity material you have left in your faculty cubicle, you know you barely have the time to go back and get it. The next university is a 20-minute ride, lucky if the jeep you're riding runs right away.
You decide on modifying that day’s Foreign Language class promising to bring your material next time. When its 4:30, you transform into giving yourself that much needed treat- your dance class. Getting home at 8:00 in the evening, you see your two angels lying on the couch. “You’re late!"Sean would welcome you as you greet them “Good evening”. “What’s for dinner?” Miguel would then follow. “Let’s just buy from Rina Grace.” You answer. “Did you already cook rice ?” “Yes, Miguel did.” “What about you, Kuya?” “Are you forgetting your responsibility? You ask. “No… I prepared the laundry”. “But you came home late”. “Can we have vegetables? We had meat for lunch already.” Sean suggests. As you hand in the money you tell the “Kuya” not to forget your beer. Asking them how school was, the usual reply of "OK" resounds at your dinner table. You never miss to tell them what happened to your day too. Checking them whether they have done their school homework already, you expect the same answers. Sean lounges still in the living room while Miguel sneaks upstairs to watch TV. You remind him to brush teeth and Sean to do the dishes quick. You prepare for bed and tell Sean to hurry so he could put off all the lights. In another thirty minutes everything is done.

As you tuck yourself to bed, everything is still and quiet, only the soft whirring sound of the electric fan can be heard.

“Good night Papa, Good night Miguel. Love you.” Your eldest never misses his day-ender lines. As you snug deeper in the “futon” looking for a comfortable position you thank God for another day has passed and that your kids are growing up fast. But a part of you denies, wanting them to stay as is and be with you forever.

As you toss yourself much further, you give in to a much-needed rest for a good lead of whatever may come the next day.

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